I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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