worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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