"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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