I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
