Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
