Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
