My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
