since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
