Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Alive.
So much puke
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
