So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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