youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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