You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
