the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
