is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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