I'm really into asian looking animals
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
