I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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