What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
