At least make sure they are 18
Why
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
