I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize