We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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