she peed on how many people?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize