Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
