see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Bring me that man meat
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize