...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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