Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
