I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize