Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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