I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
