Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
