I didn't shave. On purpose
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
