Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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