He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
3pm strippers are depressing
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize