I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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