You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
