____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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