He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
