Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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