I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
