It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
