True but thats because hes a fetus.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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