Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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