Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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