Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
