you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
