first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's rum buckets o'clock
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
