12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I look better un-naked...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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