can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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