i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I understand Curling. That high.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
