do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
