I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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