I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
