She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
