I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
