the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
