you guys were way drunker than both of me
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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