I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the day after is always just damage control
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
