Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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