They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
