i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
