It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
