btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Randomize
