why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
